YOU CAN{‘T} SELL
YOU CAN {’T} SELL
To conquer one’s self is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one’s own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat”. Plato
We can conquer self or succumb to the worst defeat known to man by resigning ourselves to the illusion that we cannot. It all starts with selling the idea that it’s possible and reconcile ourselves to the notion that we are capable of doing anything within reason. Selling starts with a Dream and to overwhelm our fears and doubts.
If you ask my children what it is their father is engaged in that takes him out every morning before 5 am and returning at 8 pm daily they will all chorus He is a Banker. If you ask my wife she will tell you I am a Marketer. The truth is that I am a Salesman. And I wasn’t very good at it in the beginning.
I have struggled to make a career out of it and agonized year in year out when it all seemed that my failure at selling was not entirely my fault. I whinned and blamed everything but myself. It was a grave choice by my reckoning and I felt that most people who were not involved in selling somehow got a better bargain in life or had godfathers or came from rich homes. It was only later that I discovered that it was all my fault and that I could really get better at selling if I get to work on the one person who has been blocking the door to success, ME.
But you know what I have also realized is that we are all salesmen/women in our own individual right. We are all selling. Yes. Some of us are aware of this fact and some are not. Most are consciously applying the rules that enable them sell better some are doing it unconsciously. But whether we aware or not is not the issue but that we need to be good at selling and here is why.
In the ancient times before the advent of modern civilization the mode of exchange was Trade by Barter and the process was pretty much straight forward. If I have Yam but I want fish I simply exchange my yam with a fisherman who wants yam and has fish to trade and that is it. No hair splitting and no argument. There is no technique and no skill except the one specific for the production of that which we have or intend to exchange.
However, once money was introduced the dynamics changed as were the people involved in the entire ecosystem of trade. Money became the means of exchange of value and has remained so ever since. Although we have some modern barter and pawn shops thriving in street corners and online but that has not diminished the wide acceptability of money as the means of defining value in the market place.
Money engenders trust in the entire process. Money I believe made things a lot easier because, first you can establish the value quickly and the process of determining the cost of items was fast, efficient and smooth. Second, it created a greater scale to compare the value as with the cost and arguably to a large extent made for reasonable exchange of value.
The only catch is that money is in short supply. The presence of more individuals vying for the scarce resources in the market place amplified the need for specialization, differentiation and necessitated the need to sell. We have to be good at selling to thrive in this planet trust me. I was naïve and didn’t understand this fact of life perhaps because I was busy blaming everything around me for my lack of progress even though I work very hard.
What is selling? How do we define it? Cambridge Dictionary defines selling as the activity of making products and services available so that people buy them. But selling goes beyond mere exchange of products and services. When we leave it at the level of exchange of goods and services only then there is no compelling reason to really try to be very good at selling and invariable succumbing to the dictates of chance and luck. But life is not a joke and we cannot be lured into the trap woven by lady luck
The definition by Geoffrey James in his essay “The True Definition of Selling” posits selling as the process of making dreams come true”. This is to me a very apt definition of selling which properly situates selling in the context that we want to discuss here. Selling also involves selling your dreams and ideas to your community: the electorate on the vision of statehood, tolerance in relationship between the state and the people and between citizens; between nation states, convincing your children to follow the straight and narrow path to successful, contributory, productive and honest lives or selling to ourselves. Selling to one’s self is the beginning of the selling process and it starts with a dream.
On October 4, 1963 the Emperor of Ethiopia His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Salassie 1 read out a speech which sold the idea of equality of races and denounced all discrimination based on the color of the skin.
On the contentious issue of racial discrimination this is what he had to say: “that until the philosophy that holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned; that until there are no longer first class and second class citizens of any nation; that until the color of the man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of the eyes, that until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race; that until that day, the dream of lasting peace and world citizenship and the rule of international morality will remain an illusion, to be pursued but never attained”. This dream was later captured in a song by the Reggae star Bob Marley in his album aptly called “War”.
But a couple of months before this speech there was yet another man who also sold a similar dream and to a different audience. On August 28, 1963 a young Reverend named Martin Luther King Jnr standing under the Symbolic shadow of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC United States of America, said that he has a dream to dramatize the shameful condition of Negro lives in United States.
This is how he put it, “I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day down in Alabama with its vicious racists , with its Governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, that one day right down in Alabama little black boys and little black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers”.
He also said that it is a dream rooted in the American dream. Little wonder then that Ronald Reagan the President of United States of America said in a speech to Joint Congress, “The Republic is a dream, if we don’t keep dreaming we will lose the Republic”.
These two men started with a dream and sold it so well that it changed the world and the people in it and gave us the freedom and relative peace we now enjoy across the world. Selling is truly the process of making dreams come true indeed.
To sell anything involves a dream whether it is a product dream, service dream or an idea. An idea to make things better than they are: make society better, solve a problem and above all make ourselves better. We can only sell when we believe in the idea totally and incontrovertibly and make the dream our own. But selling our ideas to ourselves is one of the hardest and stiffest challenges we all face and to be successful at selling we must first sell to ourselves. We doubt ourselves too much and manufacture all sorts of reasons why we cannot do anything; we procrastinate and listen to that inner voice that tell us it can’t be done. The inner voice that serial doubter which constantly reminds us of our limitations and all the failures that will be our story if we try. The external noise is so loud that it completely shuts off our sense of reasoning and stunts our creativity
It is certainly a tough challenge because we are often overly critical of ourselves and oftentimes if not always will resist new information, new ideas, new products, service or refute the dream entirely. We view anything new with suspicion and invariably succumb to the dictate of fear driven by ignorance and superstition. If we don’t dream and try, and keep trying, how can we venture or create the newer ways of doing things. And since we don’t believe in it we simply discard the product or the idea.
We are not alone in this malaise as a great many of us are guilty of this debilitating disease. Little wonder Thomas Lansbury the American Author and critic wrote, “We must view with profound respect the infinite capacity of the human mind to resist the inroads of useful knowledge”. Therefore the critical first step in selling is to seek useful knowledge about ourselves first and foremost, about the product, service or the new idea. Once our mind is freed from fear and superstition through awareness based on new facts we have garnered we are then able to sell.
Selling starts with seeking useful knowledge and to undertake the unending quest to know ourselves and know it well. Know thyself is two of the most important words in our journey of self discovery. It’s an awareness of who we are and why we are where we are and by taking responsibility of the situation we find ourselves in.
The next step is that we are solely responsible for what we now have. We hold no truth more evident than that everything we have achieved until now is certainly based on our struggle; our achievement and successes is a product of persistent effort and the failures are solely our fault. The key is to ensure we keep the feedback loop short between the idea, the action, success or failure of the action, the learning we acquired in the process and to re-learn and try again and keep trying until we get it right. Maturity is that point where we hold ourselves accountable for all that we do and how we act in any given circumstance. We are aware that we are free to make our decisions and stand by it and that whatever we do must be the result of our conclusion. When we get to that point where we are in charge of what we do and how we do it we have arrived and we can say we are self aware.
To be aware is to be awake to that thought that tells us if we are moving forward or simply idling away our time. It is the feeling which guides us to process our situation in a cold calm manner to be constantly aware that where we are is not the final point and there is a current need to push ahead. This awareness gives us the urge to change things for the better to create the condition we want and not resign ourselves to the moment with the defeatist attitude of there is no need to strive for more.
Once we realize that whatever situation we are in currently that we have what it takes to change it and that it is within our power to do so we then begin to seek the necessary information to assist us make sense of the situation. In the quest for more knowledge we develop the mental muscle necessary to make the adjustments required to change. And it requires discipline.
We must develop self discipline. This is the sole key to unlocking the treasures we seek in life whether it is progress in what we now do; to be successful at selling, successful life, loving marriage, happiness and peace of mind devoid of unnecessary worry. Discipline will help us grow and create the life we can visualize and the extent of this growth and creation will only be limited by our own imagination. Without discipline we are rudderless and we drift aimlessly pummeled by the vagaries of the weather and whatever life throws at us and life will throw aplenty.
It is critical therefore to develop discipline. Socrates the great Greek Philosopher wrote “an undisciplined life is an insane life” and he also said an undisciplined life isn’t worth living. There we have it. We cannot live fully and be really alive to life if we live a life without a purpose. We simply exist and can be compared to vegetation. We must discipline all areas of our lives, our mind, our mouth and our stomach. And it requires a change of attitude.
The only thing standing between us and great success is us. It all starts with our mental attitude. How we see ourselves. Someone once told me that the feeling of belief or feeling of doubt is permanently knocking on our doors, and it is the one we let into our mind that determines whether we will succeed or fail at anything. Why would someone want to let doubt and fear cripple and deny him all the good things that is available for him to have, the great heights to achieve and all the worldly things that he has every right to have? Why? The answer he told me rests in our attitude.
We have the old saying that our attitude defines our altitude. And that is very correct. The good thing is that we can change all that in a pretty short time and it is our decision. We can do it today or tomorrow. Any day we decide to change we can. As William Henley wrote in his poem “Invictus”, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my ship” We hold the key to our successes and the key to our failure. It is all in our hands.
If the only person standing between us and the good life is our attitude and our attitude we can change by our personal decision why is it difficult? Why do so few take the right decision and thus change their lives for the better and a greater number fail to do so? Why? To change our attitude starts with changing our bad habits and slowly set a new course in life. But habits are not easy to change because it requires repeatable behaviors over a period of time. We all know when we are following the wrong habits, wrong behaviors of not doing what we need to do at the right time. We start neglecting to do certain things, like seeking new ways of doing things, taking action no matter how little, taking decisions, reading books, developing ourselves, acquiring new skills, refusing to do exercises. And then gradually we veer horribly off course.
The worst part is we now believe it is too late and what is point of trying to lose weight, how do I go back to school with young boys and young girls. But we must annihilate this sort of thinking and convince ourselves we can change and that if we change everything will change for us.
My teenage daughter will drag her feet in the morning and her mother will literally drag her into the bathroom to have her bath to stop her from making the rest of her siblings go late to school. This is especially tiring for her brother who likes to play the drum during the assembly and would not get that role if he comes after the other boys have taken up all the drums. However, once it is exam time or she is the one going for a school event she will be ready before 6.30 am
We do what we make up our minds to do whether it is a 13 year old or 30 year old or a 70 year old. We do what we think about all the time. That is why William James wrote that “human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind”. If we make up our minds the impossible become possible and the universe will yield to us whatever we desire without hurting another man in the process.
We can assume therefore that before we can make anything happen we have to consciously believe it can be done and then sell the idea that we can do it to ourselves first. It is very difficult to convince ourselves to leave our comfort zone and there are several reasons why we don’t want to undertake such dangerous adventure. For one, it is easier to say it is not possible; it hasn’t been done before, I will lose everything and all the lame excuses that stop us from making a move. It is a familiar territory and we find it difficult to leave a familiar territory because we don’t want to know what is on the other side of the winding road. It’s also important to know what the risks are and take necessary precautions. This is normal.
Victor Frankl an Austrian Neurologist wrote, “The last of the human freedoms: is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. And there were always choices to make. And every day, every hour offered an opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit yourself to those powers which threaten to rob you of your very self or your inner freedom”. The key words here are freedom, choice and decision. We must make the decision ourselves to change or no one will ever grant us that freedom. We decide and make the changes or we refuse to make the changes and be confirmed to mediocrity. The choice is ours. We are free entirely to make this choice. Henry Ford said if we think we can and if we think we cannot we are right.
It is clear that our attitude is within our control and we can chose to amend our attitude and start making the changes, the hard choices that we must make today in order to reap the reward of better habit and increased productivity or we refuse to correct our ways and are confined to comparing ourselves to others when all is needed is to create the life we want for ourselves. Once we are completely sold on what we need to do and we make the choice to develop our skills to match whatever goals we have set for ourselves it is at this point that we are in position to sell to another person. This is the point we realize that all our dreams are possible and that they are realizable. We have made the first and most important sale of our entire lives. Now You can sell.
